I was inside a dream where ever body dreaded my existence, every one blame me for my incompetence, for the failures I brought them and the way I crushed their expectations. Some people pointing at me and calling me "You are a Great Pain". I woke up with tears still falling down my cheeks, with an excruciating pain in my chest. The first question popped out "What to do to lessen the pain?". My heart answered "CALL HIM". I searched for my phone. And with the absence of it, I remembered, I no longer have you.
It has been almost a month when I decided I could not stay as a friend, getting out from the boyfriend and girlfriend relationship, going back to being as friends is a very hard commitment. I could not stay and see you upfront with someone. Though you always tell me I would find someone first before you is hard to believe. I cannot bear to see you holding hands with the girl you always dreamed of and ask me, "How is she?", "Isn't she great?". In that way, the love I have for you will kill me inside. I may be a good friend and tell you "She is good", "You look good together", but i will be holding back the tears.
I hope you understand. God knows I tried, but if I stayed then it would only mean drowning myself from pain, from unfulfilled dreams, from another failure. This is good, not seeing you again or hear anything from you is the best way I could help myself. Maybe we will see each other years from now, but only as strangers.
I love you and I always will
love Ena
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