just as i thought everything is going well, I hid the sins and act as if I am a normal Christian woman, little secrets could not hurt nobody. As long as those secrets remain in me and to the person who sinned with me. But I was wrong, yes, they will be kept with me to my grave, with 3 people i trusted more than myself. And to God. I hurt them, I hurt myself and I hurt my God. I was too foolish to have never known that a single sin could be a destroying monster within.
Until God allowed a day to make me fall down my knees, I was left with no choice, no one but this sin. And He made me face what was left in me. It broke me to pieces. I felt alone. I wake up without the desire to live. I look at my parent's faces with a blank expression, hoping I could fake everything I was going through. I was living in an unreal world I created just to get through the day.
But one day God told me, "I gave you this sufferings not to be a lying dead. I gave you this, because I wanted you to know".
That was it, i stood up and continued life. Just then, I only stood up because i have to. But now, I am craving for prayers. for RENEWAL. Not to justify my mistakes, but to have myself another chance to live again. I was born to live for my God, I am not gonna waste it just because I broke myself with that single sin <3
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